How to Dealing with Awkward Silence?

Dealing with Awkward Silence

Regrardless of how closely you follow all of the conversation tips in this trending.plengdut.com section post, eventually you’re going to face the dreaded awkward silence while you’re trying to talk to someone. If you fear silences, you likely imagine they’ll be really uncomfortable and embarrassing in the moment. Furthermore, you may believe that if one happens, it “proves” you’re incompetent in social situations. Nothing could be further from the truth. Read on to find out why awkward silences happen and what you can do about them. 

Seeing why awkward silences occur 

Not every conversational lull or silence is due to a mistake on someone’s part. Don’t be too quick to blame yourself if the conversation hits a snag. Sometimes these lulls occur naturally, simply due to what was being talked about: 
  • You and your conversation partner(s) may have come to the end of a subject, and you both need time to figure out what to say next. When some topics end, it’s fairly easy to think of the next direction to head in. With others, no immediate follow-up springs to mind. 
  • If someone makes a particularly profound or thought-provoking point, everyone may want to pause and reflect on it for a moment. 
  • Everyone may be in a somewhat tired, distracted, or laid-back mood and decide all at once they just want to relax and not talk for a bit.

Knowing when silence is okay 

Silence is acceptable in some situations, and it’s not necessary to try to fill it. If you’ve just introduced yourself to someone at a party, you both hope and expect that the conversation will flow easily. 
Dealing with Awkward Silence Regrardless of how closely you follow all of the conversation tips in this trending.plengdut.com section post, eventually you’re going to face the dreaded awkward silence while you’re trying to talk to someone. If you fear silences, you likely imagine they’ll be really uncomfortable and embarrassing in the moment. Furthermore, you may believe that if one happens, it “proves” you’re incompetent in social situations. Nothing could be further from the truth. Read on to find out why awkward silences happen and what you can do about them. Seeing why awkward silences occur Not every conversational lull or silence is due to a mistake on someone’s part. Don’t be too quick to blame yourself if the conversation hits a snag. Sometimes these lulls occur naturally, simply due to what was being talked about: You and your conversation partner(s) may have come to the end of a subject, and you both need time to figure out what to say next. When some topics end, it’s fairly easy to think of the next direction to head in. With others, no immediate follow-up springs to mind. If someone makes a particularly profound or thought-provoking point, everyone may want to pause and reflect on it for a moment. Everyone may be in a somewhat tired, distracted, or laid-back mood and decide all at once they just want to relax and not talk for a bit. Knowing when silence is okay Silence is acceptable in some situations, and it’s not necessary to try to fill it. If you’ve just introduced yourself to someone at a party, you both hope and expect that the conversation will flow easily. In other situations, it’s natural to have quiet periods. Some cases are when you’re riding with people in a car, bus, or plane; when you’re chilling with a friend and watching a movie; when you’re sitting at the beach or around a campfire; and when you’re on a hike. If everyone goes quiet, you shouldn’t consider these awkward silences that must be overcome at all costs. In fact, in these situations it’s often the wrong play to try to keep the conversation going nonstop. It makes you look insecure and like you can’t handle a second of peaceful reflection. Handling a few seconds of silence with ease Silences happen. It’s all about how you react to them. If you stay comfortable and in control, you’ll send the message, to yourself and to everyone else, that what’s happening is normal and not awkward at all. If you keep your cool and apply one of the suggestions below, it won’t be long before the conversation is back on track. Short silences happen all the time between good friends. Because they’re comfortable in each other’s company, they don’t stress about it and are content when a few seconds of dead air happens. They may have as many silences in their conversations as two people who just met, but they don’t really notice them, and they don’t see the exchange as being awkward and halting. Don’t worry about bringing up a new subject If a silence settles in, give yourself a few seconds to try to think of something that will continue the current topic. If you can’t, maybe you could go back to a dangling thread from earlier in the conversation (“So, you were saying before that you were thinking of learning to knit?”). If nothing comes to mind, you’ll have to come up with a new topic. You may worry that it will seem clumsy to switch to a fresh topic so abruptly or that your choice will be boring or that by changing the subject, you’ll reveal you didn’t know how to keep the last thread going. It’s fine to shift gears if the current subject has come to an end. It’s also all in the delivery. If you change topics in an uncomfortable, stilted way, it might be awkward. But if you speak as if taking the discussion in a new direction is the most natural thing in the world, it won’t seem out of the ordinary. Comment on the silence When you comment on the silence, don’t say something like, “Wow…this sure is uncomfortable. Can’t think of anything to say…nope…” That usually makes the silence worse by drawing attention to it and putting people on the spot. Depending on why the silence occurred, you can make a casual observation about it before bringing up something new. Here are a few examples: If a lull settles in because everyone was kidding around and then one person made a funny but very random joke, you could say, “Ha ha, I guess there’s not much anyone can say to continue off from that. Anyway…” If everyone has exhausted a particular topic, you could comment, “Um, looks like we’ve said everything we have to say about that. Um… so did you hear…” If you say something and it seems the other person can’t think of anything to say in response, you could ease the silence with, “Ah, I guess you haven’t thought about that. Oh, so the other week I…” If someone makes a statement that everyone needs time to digest, after a bit of silence you could say, “Yeah, that’s an interesting point. My mind’s mulling over it right now… I guess thinking about it more, I…” Be open when you have nothing to contribute Sometimes someone says something that gives you nothing to go on, and you can’t think of anything to say in reply. For example, if you know or care nothing about cars and someone tells you the McLaren MP4-12C’s engine produces 592 bhp, odds are your mind is going to go, “Uhh….” Rather than scrambling to try to come up with a relevant follow-up to their statement, you can say what you’re thinking: “Ha, ha, sorry. I don’t know much about that stuff.” Try not to leave the conversation hanging there, though. Some people are too quick to give up on a conversation when it turns to an area they don’t have in common with the other person. Once you get your lack of familiarity about the topic out in the open, you’ll often find a way to get the interaction going again. Maybe you’ll decide to switch to a subject you can both talk about, or you could take an interest in their interest and stay on the current subject, but ask them to explain the basics and background details more so you can follow along and relate to it better. Be prepared for surprising statements Sometimes you experience a loss for words when the other person says something off-putting or unexpected. Imagine you’re talking to a seemingly grounded, intelligent person, and then out of nowhere they say, “I think fashion is super important. I don’t trust anyone who spends less than $2,000 a month on new clothes.” It would stun you into silence. If you were thinking anything, it would probably be something like, “Wow…That is so out of touch. I have no idea how to reply.” As a milder example, say you ask someone what their favorite shows are and they reply they don’t watch TV. You may not have a problem with that, but it wasn’t one of the answers you were anticipating, and you may be unsure how to reply. Knowing you may face unexpected statements can help you respond better to them. Rather than beginning to panic because an awkward silence may be imminent, you can use a few fall-back responses. You could quickly acknowledge their opinion and change the subject. Or you could adopt a curious stance and question them about it. If you don’t agree with them, you could respectfully say so, assuming you don’t think you’ll get pulled into a pointless, nasty argument. Take the opportunity to exit the conversation If you were planning on ending the conversation soon anyway, a quick silence can provide the opportunity to get going. Before the lull goes on for too long, take charge and say something like, “Anyway, I’ll let you get back to what you were doing…” or “Anyway, it was good running into you. I’ll catch you later…” Even when you’re not intending to leave, in situations like parties and networking events, there’s nothing stopping you from exiting a conversation as soon as it starts feeling awkward by pretending you meant for it to be quick all along. Be careful, though, because bailing from conversations early too often can become a bad habit that reinforces avoidance behavior and prevents you from practicing how to recover from a lull and carry on.


In other situations, it’s natural to have quiet periods. Some cases are when you’re riding with people in a car, bus, or plane; when you’re chilling with a friend and watching a movie; when you’re sitting at the beach or around a campfire; and when you’re on a hike. 

If everyone goes quiet, you shouldn’t consider these awkward silences that must be overcome at all costs. In fact, in these situations it’s often the wrong play to try to keep the conversation going nonstop. It makes you look insecure and like you can’t handle a second of peaceful reflection.

Handling a few seconds of silence with ease 

Silences happen. It’s all about how you react to them. If you stay comfortable and in control, you’ll send the message, to yourself and to everyone else, that what’s happening is normal and not awkward at all. 

If you keep your cool and apply one of the suggestions below, it won’t be long before the conversation is back on track. Short silences happen all the time between good friends. Because they’re comfortable in each other’s company, they don’t stress about it and are content when a few seconds of dead air happens. 

They may have as many silences in their conversations as two people who just met, but they don’t really notice them, and they don’t see the exchange as being awkward and halting.

Don’t worry about bringing up a new subject 

If a silence settles in, give yourself a few seconds to try to think of something that will continue the current topic. If you can’t, maybe you could go back to a dangling thread from earlier in the conversation (“So, you were saying before that you were thinking of learning to knit?”). 

If nothing comes to mind, you’ll have to come up with a new topic. You may worry that it will seem clumsy to switch to a fresh topic so abruptly or that your choice will be boring or that by changing the subject, you’ll reveal you didn’t know how to keep the last thread going. 

It’s fine to shift gears if the current subject has come to an end. It’s also all in the delivery. If you change topics in an uncomfortable, stilted way, it might be awkward. But if you speak as if taking the discussion in a new direction is the most natural thing in the world, it won’t seem out of the ordinary.

Comment on the silence 

When you comment on the silence, don’t say something like, “Wow…this sure is uncomfortable. Can’t think of anything to say…nope…” That usually makes the silence worse by drawing attention to it and putting people on the spot. Depending on why the silence occurred, you can make a casual observation about it before bringing up something new. Here are a few examples: 
  • If a lull settles in because everyone was kidding around and then one person made a funny but very random joke, you could say, “Ha ha, I guess there’s not much anyone can say to continue off from that. Anyway…” 
  • If everyone has exhausted a particular topic, you could comment, “Um, looks like we’ve said everything we have to say about that. Um… so did you hear…” 
  • If you say something and it seems the other person can’t think of anything to say in response, you could ease the silence with, “Ah, I guess you haven’t thought about that. Oh, so the other week I…” 
  • If someone makes a statement that everyone needs time to digest, after a bit of silence you could say, “Yeah, that’s an interesting point. My mind’s mulling over it right now… I guess thinking about it more, I…”

Be open when you have nothing to contribute 

Sometimes someone says something that gives you nothing to go on, and you can’t think of anything to say in reply. For example, if you know or care nothing about cars and someone tells you the McLaren MP4-12C’s engine produces 592 bhp, odds are your mind is going to go, “Uhh….” Rather than scrambling to try to come up with a relevant follow-up to their statement, you can say what you’re thinking: “Ha, ha, sorry. I don’t know much about that stuff.” 

Try not to leave the conversation hanging there, though. Some people are too quick to give up on a conversation when it turns to an area they don’t have in common with the other person. Once you get your lack of familiarity about the topic out in the open, you’ll often find a way to get the interaction going again. 

Maybe you’ll decide to switch to a subject you can both talk about, or you could take an interest in their interest and stay on the current subject, but ask them to explain the basics and background details more so you can follow along and relate to it better.

Be prepared for surprising statements 

Sometimes you experience a loss for words when the other person says something off-putting or unexpected. Imagine you’re talking to a seemingly grounded, intelligent person, and then out of nowhere they say, “I think fashion is super important. 

I don’t trust anyone who spends less than $2,000 a month on new clothes.” It would stun you into silence. If you were thinking anything, it would probably be something like, “Wow…That is so out of touch. I have no idea how to reply.” 

As a milder example, say you ask someone what their favorite shows are and they reply they don’t watch TV. You may not have a problem with that, but it wasn’t one of the answers you were anticipating, and you may be unsure how to reply. Knowing you may face unexpected statements can help you respond better to them. 

Rather than beginning to panic because an awkward silence may be imminent, you can use a few fall-back responses. You could quickly acknowledge their opinion and change the subject. Or you could adopt a curious stance and question them about it. If you don’t agree with them, you could respectfully say so, assuming you don’t think you’ll get pulled into a pointless, nasty argument. 

Take the opportunity to exit the conversation 

If you were planning on ending the conversation soon anyway, a quick silence can provide the opportunity to get going. Before the lull goes on for too long, take charge and say something like, “Anyway, I’ll let you get back to what you were doing…” or “Anyway, it was good running into you. I’ll catch you later…” 

Even when you’re not intending to leave, in situations like parties and networking events, there’s nothing stopping you from exiting a conversation as soon as it starts feeling awkward by pretending you meant for it to be quick all along. 

Be careful, though, because bailing from conversations early too often can become a bad habit that reinforces avoidance behavior and prevents you from practicing how to recover from a lull and carry on.
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