How To Being More Fun?

Being More Fun People

Fun people are simply enjoyable to be around. But fun has a time and a place. If you’re at a party or in a joking mood, you generally want to be around fun people and having fun yourself. 

If you’re going on a quiet, contemplative walk with a friend, that same fun behavior probably won’t fit the situation. There are two aspects to being more fun. There are the behaviors that make you more fun, and there are the traits to avoid that make you less fun. This chapter covers both aspects.

Being more fun 

As with likability, the traits that make people fun are general, and you can fit them to your personality style. You can be fun in a more subdued manner. 

There’s more to it than standing on a table with a beer funnel. However, though everyone can be fun in their own way, this section uses the meaning of “fun” that involves having wacky, entertaining, funny times with people. 
Being More Fun People Fun people are simply enjoyable to be around. But fun has a time and a place. If you’re at a party or in a joking mood, you generally want to be around fun people and having fun yourself. If you’re going on a quiet, contemplative walk with a friend, that same fun behavior probably won’t fit the situation. There are two aspects to being more fun. There are the behaviors that make you more fun, and there are the traits to avoid that make you less fun. This chapter covers both aspects. Being more fun As with likability, the traits that make people fun are general, and you can fit them to your personality style. You can be fun in a more subdued manner. There’s more to it than standing on a table with a beer funnel. However, though everyone can be fun in their own way, this section uses the meaning of “fun” that involves having wacky, entertaining, funny times with people. If someone were to say, “My idea of having fun is to take an afternoon to quietly contemplate my garden,” then what’s written here won’t line up with their use of the word. If the outgoing type of fun isn’t all that important to you, then you can skip this section. Understand people can be in different social modes Sometimes people are in the mood to have a low-key, cerebral, logical conversation about politics, parenting philosophies, or their fears and insecurities. At other times they want to goof around, make dumb jokes, party, and blow off steam. Neither social mode is better or worse than the other. They both have their uses and drawbacks. It’s the same as when you’re not always in the mood for a heavy, depressing drama every time you pick a movie. Some people are in their element in serious, logical social situations, but they don’t know how to handle it when they find themselves in a more silly, party focused one. They may feel out of their element or get annoyed that everyone isn’t acting more refined. If you think like that, accept that not every situation has to be solemn and intellectual, and work to embrace your own carefree, immature side. Some general ways to be fun Purposely set out to have a fun time. Don’t approach the evening with the mentality of “We’re just going to hang around and do nothing.” Joke around and be amusing. Tell funny stories, make witty observations, do entertaining stunts. Introduce people to fun new activities and situations. For example, “Hey, instead of sitting around, let’s sign up to sing karaoke,” or “Let’s check out the new stand-up comedy club.” Help people have more fun than they normally do. Without being pushy, help them move beyond their default level of reserve. For example, “Hey, let’s go talk to those people… Nah, don’t worry. They seem friendly. Let’s go.” Be a little more spontaneous and daring than usual. Or to use a cliché, say yes to more things than you normally would. Take things a little further than you normally would. For example, push your jokes into slightly more outrageous territory, or take your friend up on that stupid bet when you typically wouldn’t. Have little tricks and talents that make you more fun. For example, knowing how to play darts or knowing a bunch of jokes or card games can help you and others enjoy your time together. Be less “un-fun” The traits that make you less fun are more concrete and straightforward than the abstract principles in the previous list. (Again, this section is based around a particular definition of fun, and these traits aren’t necessarily bad in other circumstances.) Don’t be the person who never wants to do anything new or much of anything at all. Don’t be the person who wants to quit everything halfway through. Wherever you are, don’t just hang back and do nothing. Sometimes you can’t help this if you’re shy or not interested in the activity everyone is doing, but as much as possible try to stay in the mix. Don’t be too picky about what you require to be entertained. Make the best of the situation, and don’t be someone who can only enjoy themselves when they’re out in the perfect venue with the perfect music selection, crowd, and drink prices. Don’t always think it’s boring where you currently are and the fun must be at the next location. Don’t wait for the amusement to come to you. Make your own fun. Don’t expect your friends to be responsible for your having a good time. Don’t think things like, “I’ll only have fun once the band plays better songs.” Don’t be a downer by complaining too much about what you’re doing or by bringing up depressing or heavy topics on a fun night out. Don’t be overly stingy with your money. There’s nothing wrong with being frugal, but accept that some activities require you spend at least a little cash to have a good time (for example, don’t go to an amusement park then refuse to buy any ride tickets, play any games, or get anything to eat). Don’t see having fun as immature or beneath you. Everyone can have fun. It’s not something only dumb, vacuous people do. Overcoming traits that prevent fun Being too uptight or serious and having fun don’t mix. You can hardly relax, goof around, and have a good time if you’re irritated by everything or everyone. Here are the characteristics of someone who is uptight: having rigid, unrealistic standards about how you and other people should act and how the social world should be (for example, everyone should always follow the rules and be morally upright at all times) caring too much about whether people are acting in ways you view as inconsiderate and thoughtless getting irritated by everyday social annoyances that most people let slide thinking you always have to be controlled and proper and well-behaved seeing yourself as a refined, considerate, intellectual adult and looking down on what you see as silly, immature behavior not being able to laugh at yourself Here are some ways you can lighten up: Accept you can’t control everything At the root of some people’s uptightness is a need to be in control and have everyone act the way they want them to. You can become more relaxed if you can let go of this need and accept that people are going to behave in a way you may not like or expect. Develop a more realistic idea of what to expect in social situations Lots of slightly irritating, but common and unavoidable, behaviors and events are going to come up when you’re socializing. Friends will be flaky. Venues will be noisy and overcrowded. People will act crass and immature. Minor rules and laws will be ignored (for example, people will litter and play their music too loud at parties). Most people know these types of things come with the territory and don’t let themselves be too bothered by them. If you’re more socially inexperienced, the same things can really irk you, because you have the false expectation that a situation should go a certain way, and then feel upset when people “ruin” it. Try not to take yourself too seriously It’s okay to be a normal dopey human, and it’s fine do things like watch dumb movies with your friends while gossiping and making lowbrow jokes. It’s okay to have light, brainless fun. You won’t lose your Intellectual card. No one will care. In fact, they’ll probably appreciate that they can let loose around you without feeling judged.


If someone were to say, “My idea of having fun is to take an afternoon to quietly contemplate my garden,” then what’s written here won’t line up with their use of the word. If the outgoing type of fun isn’t all that important to you, then you can skip this section. 

Understand people can be in different social modes 

Sometimes people are in the mood to have a low-key, cerebral, logical conversation about politics, parenting philosophies, or their fears and insecurities. At other times they want to goof around, make dumb jokes, party, and blow off steam. 

Neither social mode is better or worse than the other. They both have their uses and drawbacks. It’s the same as when you’re not always in the mood for a heavy, depressing drama every time you pick a movie. 

Some people are in their element in serious, logical social situations, but they don’t know how to handle it when they find themselves in a more silly, party focused one. They may feel out of their element or get annoyed that everyone isn’t acting more refined. If you think like that, accept that not every situation has to be solemn and intellectual, and work to embrace your own carefree, immature side. 

Some general ways to be fun 

  • Purposely set out to have a fun time. Don’t approach the evening with the mentality of “We’re just going to hang around and do nothing.” 
  • Joke around and be amusing. Tell funny stories, make witty observations, do entertaining stunts. 
  • Introduce people to fun new activities and situations. For example, “Hey, instead of sitting around, let’s sign up to sing karaoke,” or “Let’s check out the new stand-up comedy club.” 
  • Help people have more fun than they normally do. Without being pushy, help them move beyond their default level of reserve. For example, “Hey, let’s go talk to those people… Nah, don’t worry. They seem friendly. Let’s go.” 
  • Be a little more spontaneous and daring than usual. Or to use a cliché, say yes to more things than you normally would. 
  • Take things a little further than you normally would. For example, push your jokes into slightly more outrageous territory, or take your friend up on that stupid bet when you typically wouldn’t. 
  • Have little tricks and talents that make you more fun. For example, knowing how to play darts or knowing a bunch of jokes or card games can help you and others enjoy your time together.

Be less “un-fun” 

The traits that make you less fun are more concrete and straightforward than the abstract principles in the previous list. (Again, this section is based around a particular definition of fun, and these traits aren’t necessarily bad in other circumstances.) 
  • Don’t be the person who never wants to do anything new or much of anything at all. 
  • Don’t be the person who wants to quit everything halfway through. 
  • Wherever you are, don’t just hang back and do nothing. Sometimes you can’t help this if you’re shy or not interested in the activity everyone is doing, but as much as possible try to stay in the mix. 
  • Don’t be too picky about what you require to be entertained. Make the best of the situation, and don’t be someone who can only enjoy themselves when they’re out in the perfect venue with the perfect music selection, crowd, and drink prices. Don’t always think it’s boring where you currently are and the fun must be at the next location. 
  • Don’t wait for the amusement to come to you. Make your own fun. Don’t expect your friends to be responsible for your having a good time. Don’t think things like, “I’ll only have fun once the band plays better songs.” 
  • Don’t be a downer by complaining too much about what you’re doing or by bringing up depressing or heavy topics on a fun night out. 
  • Don’t be overly stingy with your money. There’s nothing wrong with being frugal, but accept that some activities require you spend at least a little cash to have a good time (for example, don’t go to an amusement park then refuse to buy any ride tickets, play any games, or get anything to eat). 
  • Don’t see having fun as immature or beneath you. Everyone can have fun. It’s not something only dumb, vacuous people do.

Overcoming traits that prevent fun 

Being too uptight or serious and having fun don’t mix. You can hardly relax, goof around, and have a good time if you’re irritated by everything or everyone. Here are the characteristics of someone who is uptight: 
  • having rigid, unrealistic standards about how you and other people should act and how the social world should be (for example, everyone should always follow the rules and be morally upright at all times) 
  • caring too much about whether people are acting in ways you view as inconsiderate and thoughtless 
  • getting irritated by everyday social annoyances that most people let slide 
  • thinking you always have to be controlled and proper and well-behaved 
  • seeing yourself as a refined, considerate, intellectual adult and looking down on what you see as silly, immature behavior 
  • not being able to laugh at yourself 
Here are some ways you can lighten up: 

Accept you can’t control everything 

At the root of some people’s uptightness is a need to be in control and have everyone act the way they want them to. You can become more relaxed if you can let go of this need and accept that people are going to behave in a way you may not like or expect. 

Develop a more realistic idea of what to expect in social situations 

Lots of slightly irritating, but common and unavoidable, behaviors and events are going to come up when you’re socializing. Friends will be flaky. Venues will be noisy and overcrowded. 

People will act crass and immature. Minor rules and laws will be ignored (for example, people will litter and play their music too loud at parties). Most people know these types of things come with the territory and don’t let themselves be too bothered by them. 

If you’re more socially inexperienced, the same things can really irk you, because you have the false expectation that a situation should go a certain way, and then feel upset when people “ruin” it. 

Try not to take yourself too seriously 

It’s okay to be a normal dopey human, and it’s fine do things like watch dumb movies with your friends while gossiping and making lowbrow jokes. It’s okay to have light, brainless fun. You won’t lose your Intellectual card. 

No one will care. In fact, they’ll probably appreciate that they can let loose around you without feeling judged.
By on