How to End a Conversation?

Ending Conversation

Every conversation has to come to an end eventually. Often it’s easy enough to part ways, but sometimes you’ll feel more unsure about how to wind down the interaction. This chapter gives you some options for doing that. As with the other stages, you’ll feel more confident going into your conversations when you know you can end them smoothly. 
Ending Conversation Every conversation has to come to an end eventually. Often it’s easy enough to part ways, but sometimes you’ll feel more unsure about how to wind down the interaction. This chapter gives you some options for doing that. As with the other stages, you’ll feel more confident going into your conversations when you know you can end them smoothly. Ending a conversation is a pretty straightforward skill, and once you have an idea of what to do, it’s easy to put the concepts into practice. This chapter may also have the side effect of illustrating various ways that someone might to be trying to end a conversation with you, so you’ll know if it’s time to gracefully let them go. Considering time limits to conversations A general principle first: You can make ending many of your conversations a lot simpler if you go into them with an understanding of approximately how long you can talk so you can smoothly wind them down when the time comes. Many conversations are open-ended in length, but in the following situations, the other person may need to get going after about five minutes. They may want to talk longer, but it’s always good to be considerate of their time: You run into a friend who’s in the middle of getting groceries. You’re chatting to someone at work while you’re both grabbing coffee from the kitchen. You’ve called someone to quickly set up plans with them. You’re chatting to someone at a party or networking event where everyone is doing a lot of circulating and mingling. You’re sitting next to an acquaintance on a bus, who may want to get back to their book or headphones after catching up quickly. It’s okay to end a conversation quickly and cleanly Sometimes people feel that they have to give a big, formal good-bye every time they stop talking to someone. Mostly this isn’t called for, and you can finish the conversation in a to-the-point, casual way. Dragging out the end of the conversation can make it feel more awkward. Methods of ending conversations If you’d like to see or keep in touch with the person you’ve been talking to, you can use one of these approaches and exchange contact info, make future plans, and maybe promise to drop them a line in a few days. Wrap it up without any window dressing It’s often fine to just pleasantly say you’ve got to go without any explanation, especially if you know the person already. They’ll understand you have things you need to do and won’t be offended. “I gotta run. Good talking to you.” “All right” (to agree with what they just said). “Anyway, take it easy, man” (as you’re heading off). (Speaking on the phone) “Well, I’m gonna go. I’ll talk to you later.” Say, “Anyway, I’ll let you get back to it…” if they were in the middle of something “Anyway, it was good seeing you. I’ll let you get back to your shopping.” “Anyway, I’ll talk to you more later. I’ll let you get back to your work.” You can make up something for the other person to get back to. Like if you’re texting with someone on a Sunday evening, you could say, “Well, I’ll let you get back to getting ready for work tomorrow” or “I’m sure you want to relax a bit before you go to sleep. I’ll let you go.” Use a reason, made up or not, for why you have to leave the conversation Day to day “It was good running into you. I have to finish this shopping before I pick up my kids.” “Sorry I can’t talk longer. I’m actually on my way to meet my friend for coffee.” “Let’s talk more at lunch. I need to finish up this presentation before eleven o’clock.” At parties, bars, or networking events “I’ve got to go find my friends.” “I’m going to go grab another drink.” “If you’ll excuse me, I just saw someone I’ve been meaning to catch up with.” “I just have to head to the bathroom. I’ll run into you later maybe.” “I just got here. I’m going to look around a bit more. I’ll see you in a bit.” Make a statement to summarize and wrap up the conversation, then say you have to go “Yeah, that movie’s going to be wicked. I’m really looking forward to it. Anyway, I should get going…” “Wow, a lot’s been happening in our families, huh? We’ll have to catch up about it more soon… I just noticed my friends have arrived. I’m going to say hi to them.” Use signals that show you’re ready to end the conversation While still being friendly and polite, you can start adjusting your body language and your actions to indicate to the other person that it’s time for them to finish up the discussion or that you’re about to end it soon yourself. The idea isn’t to be passive and put responsibility for ending the interaction on them; it’s just to give them a heads-up. You could try one of the following tactics: Stand up if you’ve been sitting down. Start to give quicker, shorter responses: “Yep, yep, yep. Totally. Anyway, I should get going…” Look more frequently at the thing you need to get back to, for example, the direction you were walking in, the photocopier you needed to use before you started chatting to a coworker. Start angling your body away from them and perhaps toward something you need to get back to. If the conversation still hasn’t wound down, actually get back to the thing you needed to do. For example, start to photocopy your documents or resume shopping. If you were about to leave and a conversation is holding you up, signal you’re about to go by gathering up belongings like your coat, car keys, sunglasses, and purse. Introduce the person to someone else, or bring them along as you join another conversation This is a party tactic. If you join another discussion, the conversation you were having with the original person naturally dissolves. If you do the introduction move, be subtle and genuine about pulling it off. If you do it in an insincere, exaggerated way, the other person will be able to tell you’re blowing them off by trying to foist them on someone else. Get back to your book, music, phone, laptop, or video game If you’re talking to someone on a bus, subway, or plane, you may not feel like speaking the entire time you’re forced to sit near each other. In these cases, it’s always handy to have something else you can turn your attention to. To end the conversation, you could say, “Well, I’m just gonna get back to my book now,” or you could wait for a pause, not make any effort to fill it, and then open a school assignment on your laptop. The other person should figure out your intentions. On a bus or plane, you can always pretend to take a nap as well. You can leave some group discussions without saying much of anything If you’re talking with a group at a party and after a few minutes you decide you want to keep circulating, you can often just walk away. It’s understood that people are going to drop in and out of different discussions. You don’t need to slink away silently. You can quietly indicate you’re leaving with a quick little nod or wave. You can sometimes do the same thing at your job. If a bunch of coworkers are sitting around on break at a table where many people are coming and going, you can join them for a bit, then just get up when you have to go back to work. You could say good-bye, and often you will, but they won’t think it’s rude if you don’t. They know they’ll see you soon anyway. Decoding those hard-to-read niceties that people sometimes use as they’re wrapping up a conversation One thing that confuses a lot of people is when they’re talking to someone and as they’re leaving, the person says something like, “We’ll talk soon,” or “I’ll get back to you about it later,” or “Let’s do lunch.” Sometimes they literally mean these things, and sometimes they’re just saying them as niceties. They don’t necessarily dislike you and are being deceptive to try to escape. They just want to end the conversation in a friendly way, and bringing up the possibility of future plans is a way to do that. There’s no reliable way to decipher what someone’s intentions are here. You have to get a feel for what each person’s style is and whether they tend to actually mean it when they say these things. Also, if someone ends a conversation by saying, “Let’s have coffee soon,” and you’re interested but not sure if they really mean it, it doesn’t do any harm to follow up and try to get a better sense of where they stand. Extracting yourself from an uninteresting but determined conversation partner If you find yourself speaking to someone who’s boring you, you can usually use one of the above approaches to politely end the conversation. Sometimes it’s not that easy. The worst-case scenario is when you’re with someone who can seemingly talk at you forever, isn’t being sensitive to your time or your nonverbal indications of losing interest or needing to go, and can smoothly transition from one subject to the next, so there’s no natural break between topics where you can say you have to run. With these people, you need to be more assertive in interrupting them so you can announce you need to get going. If you can, wait for even the smallest pause in their story or explanation, then jump on your chance. This moment may not always come, and sometimes you’ll have to straight out cut them off (for example, “Sorry, I know you’re in the middle of your story, but I have to go catch up with my friend”). They may get a bit offended, but you don’t have anything to feel bad about. They forced your hand through their own mistakes.


Ending a conversation is a pretty straightforward skill, and once you have an idea of what to do, it’s easy to put the concepts into practice. This chapter may also have the side effect of illustrating various ways that someone might to be trying to end a conversation with you, so you’ll know if it’s time to gracefully let them go.

Considering time limits to conversations 

A general principle first: You can make ending many of your conversations a lot simpler if you go into them with an understanding of approximately how long you can talk so you can smoothly wind them down when the time comes. Many conversations are open-ended in length, but in the following situations, the other person may need to get going after about five minutes. 

They may want to talk longer, but it’s always good to be considerate of their time: 
  • You run into a friend who’s in the middle of getting groceries. 
  • You’re chatting to someone at work while you’re both grabbing coffee from the kitchen. 
  • You’ve called someone to quickly set up plans with them. 
  • You’re chatting to someone at a party or networking event where everyone is doing a lot of circulating and mingling.
  • You’re sitting next to an acquaintance on a bus, who may want to get back to their book or headphones after catching up quickly.

It’s okay to end a conversation quickly and cleanly 

Sometimes people feel that they have to give a big, formal good-bye every time they stop talking to someone. Mostly this isn’t called for, and you can finish the conversation in a to-the-point, casual way. Dragging out the end of the conversation can make it feel more awkward.

Methods of ending conversations 

If you’d like to see or keep in touch with the person you’ve been talking to, you can use one of these approaches and exchange contact info, make future plans, and maybe promise to drop them a line in a few days. 

Wrap it up without any window dressing 

It’s often fine to just pleasantly say you’ve got to go without any explanation, especially if you know the person already. They’ll understand you have things you need to do and won’t be offended. 
  • “I gotta run. Good talking to you.” 
  • “All right” (to agree with what they just said). “Anyway, take it easy, man” (as you’re heading off). 
  • (Speaking on the phone) “Well, I’m gonna go. I’ll talk to you later.” 

Say, “Anyway, I’ll let you get back to it…” if they were in the middle of something 

  • “Anyway, it was good seeing you. I’ll let you get back to your shopping.” 
  • “Anyway, I’ll talk to you more later. I’ll let you get back to your work.”
You can make up something for the other person to get back to. Like if you’re texting with someone on a Sunday evening, you could say, “Well, I’ll let you get back to getting ready for work tomorrow” or “I’m sure you want to relax a bit before you go to sleep. I’ll let you go.”

Use a reason, made up or not, for why you have to leave the conversation 

Day to day 
  • “It was good running into you. I have to finish this shopping before I pick up my kids.” 
  • “Sorry I can’t talk longer. I’m actually on my way to meet my friend for coffee.” 
  • “Let’s talk more at lunch. I need to finish up this presentation before eleven o’clock.” 
At parties, bars, or networking events 
  • “I’ve got to go find my friends.” 
  • “I’m going to go grab another drink.” 
  • “If you’ll excuse me, I just saw someone I’ve been meaning to catch up with.” 
  • “I just have to head to the bathroom. I’ll run into you later maybe.” 
  • “I just got here. I’m going to look around a bit more. I’ll see you in a bit.” 
Make a statement to summarize and wrap up the conversation, then say you have to go 
  • “Yeah, that movie’s going to be wicked. I’m really looking forward to it. Anyway, I should get going…” 
  • “Wow, a lot’s been happening in our families, huh? We’ll have to catch up about it more soon… I just noticed my friends have arrived. I’m going to say hi to them.”

Use signals that show you’re ready to end the conversation 

While still being friendly and polite, you can start adjusting your body language and your actions to indicate to the other person that it’s time for them to finish up the discussion or that you’re about to end it soon yourself. The idea isn’t to be passive and put responsibility for ending the interaction on them; it’s just to give them a heads-up. You could try one of the following tactics: 
  • Stand up if you’ve been sitting down. 
  • Start to give quicker, shorter responses: “Yep, yep, yep. Totally. Anyway, I should get going…” 
  • Look more frequently at the thing you need to get back to, for example, the direction you were walking in, the photocopier you needed to use before you started chatting to a coworker. 
  • Start angling your body away from them and perhaps toward something you need to get back to. 
  • If the conversation still hasn’t wound down, actually get back to the thing you needed to do. For example, start to photocopy your documents or resume shopping. 
  • If you were about to leave and a conversation is holding you up, signal you’re about to go by gathering up belongings like your coat, car keys, sunglasses, and purse.

Introduce the person to someone else, or bring them along as you join another conversation 

This is a party tactic. If you join another discussion, the conversation you were having with the original person naturally dissolves. If you do the introduction move, be subtle and genuine about pulling it off. If you do it in an insincere, exaggerated way, the other person will be able to tell you’re blowing them off by trying to foist them on someone else.

Get back to your book, music, phone, laptop, or video game 

If you’re talking to someone on a bus, subway, or plane, you may not feel like speaking the entire time you’re forced to sit near each other. In these cases, it’s always handy to have something else you can turn your attention to. To end the conversation, you could say, “Well, I’m just gonna get back to my book now,” or you could wait for a pause, not make any effort to fill it, and then open a school assignment on your laptop. The other person should figure out your intentions. On a bus or plane, you can always pretend to take a nap as well. 

You can leave some group discussions without saying much of anything 

If you’re talking with a group at a party and after a few minutes you decide you want to keep circulating, you can often just walk away. It’s understood that people are going to drop in and out of different discussions. You don’t need to slink away silently. You can quietly indicate you’re leaving with a quick little nod or wave. 

You can sometimes do the same thing at your job. If a bunch of coworkers are sitting around on break at a table where many people are coming and going, you can join them for a bit, then just get up when you have to go back to work. You could say good-bye, and often you will, but they won’t think it’s rude if you don’t. They know they’ll see you soon anyway. 

Decoding those hard-to-read niceties that people sometimes use as they’re wrapping up a conversation 

One thing that confuses a lot of people is when they’re talking to someone and as they’re leaving, the person says something like, “We’ll talk soon,” or “I’ll get back to you about it later,” or “Let’s do lunch.” Sometimes they literally mean these things, and sometimes they’re just saying them as niceties. They don’t necessarily dislike you and are being deceptive to try to escape. They just want to end the conversation in a friendly way, and bringing up the possibility of future plans is a way to do that. 

There’s no reliable way to decipher what someone’s intentions are here. You have to get a feel for what each person’s style is and whether they tend to actually mean it when they say these things. Also, if someone ends a conversation by saying, “Let’s have coffee soon,” and you’re interested but not sure if they really mean it, it doesn’t do any harm to follow up and try to get a better sense of where they stand. 

Extracting yourself from an uninteresting but determined conversation partner 

If you find yourself speaking to someone who’s boring you, you can usually use one of the above approaches to politely end the conversation. Sometimes it’s not that easy. The worst-case scenario is when you’re with someone who can seemingly talk at you forever, isn’t being sensitive to your time or your nonverbal indications of losing interest or needing to go, and can smoothly transition from one subject to the next, so there’s no natural break between topics where you can say you have to run. 

With these people, you need to be more assertive in interrupting them so you can announce you need to get going. If you can, wait for even the smallest pause in their story or explanation, then jump on your chance. This moment may not always come, and sometimes you’ll have to straight out cut them off (for example, “Sorry, I know you’re in the middle of your story, but I have to go catch up with my friend”). They may get a bit offended, but you don’t have anything to feel bad about. They forced your hand through their own mistakes.
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